His voice (let’s call him “Snow”) was softer and airier than I remembered it to be, almost as if he was trying to soothe a crying baby (or a nervous mark). It initially spooked me. I have been cautious with Snow since we began writing each other, as I am sure that many prisoners will take advantage of the friendships of their pen pals. But it was the fact that I knew him before he was ever in trouble that caused me to reach out initially. I know him to be a very creative, very sensitive guy that absolutely would be completely out of place in a state penitentiary. It’s that person that I am reaching out to.
I have no doubts at all that after 3 years of prison Snow is capable of manipulating and conniving to get what he wants. I also believe that he is feeling me out to see how much help I could be for him now, or down the road. I am not stupid. But that being said, I believe that the Snow that I knew before is deserving of some kindness in a world where I’m sure he sees so very little. I also know that he does have needs that only a person on the outside can help with, and because he feels so helpless where he is, it is only natural for him to ask for further help from someone who has already been kind to him. When he speaks of hardships that he lives with on a daily basis, it is true that there is a sometimes undeniable subtext that is an unspoken but very specific request. I think I’m OK with that. And if I were in his shoes, I think I’d reach out in similar ways.
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