Thanksgiving

I finally worked it all out after hashing over several options with friends and family. My roommate and I were going down to Philly for the holiday. My friend Michael was going to pick us up in Trenton and go to his family’s home for dinner and then drive us to Philly for dessert with my family. After dessert my Uncle was going to drive us back to N. Jersey where we would bus back into NYC. All this went to shit when I woke up vomiting at 8:00am. I don’t know whether it was the four (yes, only 4) drinks over the course of 4 hours that I had the night before or whether it was a stomach flu or I ate bad food but I spent the better part of the morning vomiting until going back to bed at 11. When I woke at 2:30 I felt somewhat better but still very fragile. I canceled all my plans and Roommate and I spent the day setting up shelving we had bought 2 weeks ago, and unpacking our final boxes from our move 6 weeks ago. Then we crashed dinner at Roommate’s brother’s house with a bunch of Ecuadorian’s that we had never met before. They were nice, it was fun and there was even a proper blessing at the beginning of the meal. By the time we returned to our apartment, I felt almost completely healed. I caught up with my brother by cell and then we watched a really bad kitchy movie starring Ru Paul. I crashed at 1am.

Update on the hand and work

So it seems as though my hand problems may be over. By Monday it felt significantly better and yesterday and today I have felt no pain at all. I spoke with a friend of mine who is also a doctor (a liver pathologist, to be exact), and he suggested that when I did my new push-up excercise I injured a tendon. A subtle injury perhaps, but because the hand is so complex, a minor injury like that can cause pain in the entire hand. He also told me that tendons take much longer to heal than a muscle injury, which would explain the two weeks of pain. Since the pain is so completely and totally gone, I'm thinking this may be exactly what happened. We'll see.

I have gotten a couple of gigs. The first is a last minute booking for a dueling gig in VA. The guy who now books this room was one of the players I performed with in NC. Anyway, when I heard he was looking I called and he booked me on the spot. So that's this weekend. Then I got a two week gig for December in the Florida Keys at a New York style piano bar. I enjoy the keys and hopefully will get some diving in. That gig was just confirmed yesterday. I will be back in NY for Christmas.

Today I got a call from someone who wants to pass my name along to an entertainment director for a dueling bar in South East Asia! They are looking for an American player for at least 3 months. So far, I like the sound of it. I'd prefer not to go for 3 months, but heck, it's SE Asia. I love SE Asia! We'll see where this goes. (note: as I was typing this, I got an email from the ED from this room.)

I'm going to Philly to visit family over thanksgiving and I'm taking my roommate. I'll be back in time to catch my flight to VA on Friday.

Facebook

About 3 years ago I asked one of my college-aged friends if I should go on facebook, and he wrinkled up his nose and said, emphatically, "No, that would be just creepy. It's only for college kids!" But then facebook went through a demographic change over the next couple years and the new members became increasingly older. So about 5 months ago I got a facebook page and immediately began collecting friends. But I chose to limit my facebook friends to people I actually called my friends in real life. Even so, I now have about 40 friends. In NYC, and perhaps all over, the tendancy is to immediately add anyone you meet to your facebook friend list. So it is not unusual to see someone with 200 or 300 or even more "friends." But really, what does that mean? I don't want to know what brand of Kona Coffee someone I met once at a party 3 years ago is drinking this morning! What makes you think I might want to play scrabble with you just because we copulated one drunken night 2 years ago and will, no doubt, never speak again? And really, do you need to know why I think the candicy of Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin exemplifies the decline of American Civilization just because we were introduced to each other one night at the theatre by our ex's who, by the way, haven't spoken to each other in 18 months?

So in this spirit, I gave the following response to a friend request by someone I had met precisely twice through a mutual friend:

Hey Chris. Thanks for the friend request! I hope you don't mind if i don't approve it just yet. The friends I have on face book are people I have known for a long time. So hopefully we will get to know each other in the coming months. Best regards!

New York being New York, I ran into him the following day, and he "thanked me" for denying his friend request. I smiled and said, but wasn't it the nicest rejection you ever received for a friend request?!

Philisophical ramblings about criticism

I was reading a blog a friend of mine writes where she reviews books. It got me to thinking about the concept of criticism. I've never subscribed to a philosophy that we must protect everyone's feelings, whether a artist, an author, a singer or, dare I say it, a CHILD! There is something to be learned by hearing unadorned earnest criticism of your work. As a society we have become so scrupulously concerned with sparing people's feelings that we make it a way of life to sidestep conflict and all we really are engaging in is a soft and fuzzy form of dishonesty. I would much prefer to read a reviewer, let's say, who trashes the books that deserved to be trashed and praises the ones that deserve to be praised.

We worry more about how our honesty will hurt others rather than worrying about whether our comments are genuine, well articulated and educated. The person being critiqued will benefit from your point of view as long as they are not so insecure as to not get past the fact that you didn't like it, and by extension them. And if they are so insecure as to not be able to accept earnest criticism, they don't deserve to like you anyway ;-)

It's delightful, it's delicious, it's delovely. (It's desarcasm)

About a week ago I noticed that my right hand had begun hurting. When I picked up a pot of water for the coffee it was especially painful. I've never had hand pain. Ever. And now all of a sudden it's been there for over a week, and it doesn't seem to be going away. Delightful. I thought it might have been a result of a new pushup exercise I did, but now I'm not so sure. And of course, I've already run the scenario in my head all the way to the very end, where I'm unable to work anymore, trying to get jobs for $50 singing in nursing homes, with my crippled hands hanging uselessly at my sides.

In related news, I have to make a decision on my health insurance soon. I have had catostrophic insurance for the past year, which has a rediculously high deductable before it kicks in, but I only pay $139/month. I have been very healthy this year and not had to go to the doctor but once. So suppose my hand is going to become an issue. Then maybe I should step up my insurance to the $400/month plan so I can afford the tests and drugs or surgery for the hand. Arthritis? Carpel Tunnel? Delovely.

And of course the world economy and the stock market is going to shit, and so is my retirement account along with it. This is not good. Not at all.

memorizing Abba, working in VA, hand pain

Yesterday I received a call from a dueler that I worked with for a week in NC asking me to work with him at a new room he is booking in VA. It's a one weekend gig, but as with all others, could lead to more work. Currently I have a couple of Abba songs that I'm trying to memorize. One of them is Thank You For The Music, which is a song I have played every night for many years as my closing song, but I had never bothered to memorize! What's interesting about Abba is that many of their songs (including Dancing Queen) have a much more complex chord structure than you'd ever expect for a Euro-pop band--so much so that I could play a song for years and not automatically memorize it. It may seem strange but unless I really approach a song with intent to memorize it, I won't memorize it, no matter how long and often I play it.

In other, more troubling news, I have had an arthritic-like pain in my right hand for several days now. I've never experienced this before, but it's definitely there. I'm hoping it's a muscle pain from sleeping on it the wrong way, or doing a new excercise a few days ago using push-up grips that my roommate had lying around the apartment. But, it's made me think about what I would do if I couldn't play the piano again. I guess at this point I won't give it too much thought unless it persists. It's certainly not bad enough to interfere with my playing.

Holland

I was trolling one of the professional online message boards I belong to and found a dueling gig in Holland. I had spoken to the guy who was booking it back before I had even began dueling pianos, but nothing had come of it then. I got in touch with him, and he told me that he was indeed looking for players that would like to go to Holland for a minimum of 3 weeks to work. Apparently there's a club there that does a lot of private gigs, based upon the dueling concept, however depending upon the client they will ad anything and everything on top of the dueling show from smoke machines and a laser show to a full show band including horns. I would be expected to play left hand electric bass with an additional keyboard on top of the piano. For most nights that there was not a horn section present, I would also be expected to do the horn hits with my right hand on the keyboard on the songs I was backing my partner up on. There are only two players (dueling pianist/singers), including the Dutch player who I guess owns the whole operation. The Dutch guy would take care of all the Dutch requests, and I was expected to do what I do, except that it was a music driven concept, almost more like a dance band rather than a traditional dueling concept with call downs and humor. I was told that the production was so elaborate that I would feel like a rock star.

I loved the idea in theory, especially where I can work overseas for only 3 weeks at a time. But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give these people everything they needed. I'm just a humble piano bar performer. My left hand isn't strong enough to be playing electric bass, I don't think, and especially when I'm backing up my partner on Dutch songs that I have never even heard before. I am also not used to playing in a show band like that. Add to that, the requests a European audience would make would be different that those I'm used to, so I'd probably have to get up another 20 or 30 songs before I go over there. I'm sure it would be great fun, and yeah, I probably could fake my way through it, but it would be substandard.

Dueling piano newer playlist

I rehearsed my singer today for her Judy Garland show on Saturday. I brought in a friend of mine to direct her, and sat back and watched him in amazement as he helped her transform her entire presentation. I have rarely seen such a good coach. He was able to immediately figure out the essence of what was missing in her show and help her achieve it. In two hours time he brought out wonderful moments of honest and compelling intensity. All 3 of us realized it, and it was thrilling to watch. I just hope she remembers to summon that same energy while she is up on stage doing the show on Saturday.

Between rehearsals I stopped by the restaurant that my roommate works at and made him feed me angel hair pasta with tomato basil sauce while I listed to a new playlist on my iPhone. It was from a rock songlist that a couple of the dueler pianists compiled of some "newer" requests including:

When I Come Around - Green Day

Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

Small Things - Blink 182

Crazy Game of Poker - O.A.R.

The Impression That I Get - Reel Big Fish

Discovery Channel - Bloodhound Gang

Get a Job - Offspring (Obladi, Cecilia mix)

Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds 5

Inside Out - Eve 6

Thunderstruck - AC/DC

Machinehead - Bush

I'm Just a Girl - No Doubt

All Summer Long - Kid Rock

Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver

I Wanna Fly Away - Lenny Kravitz

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz

Another Loser Anthem Song - Good Charlotte

What I got - Sublime

Beverly Hills - Weezer

Because I Got High - Afroman

Say it Ain't So - Weezer

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

All Apologies - Nirvana

No Rain - Blind Melon

Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam

Angel - Shaggy (Joker)

What's Up - 4 non Blondes

Rehab Song - Amy Winehouse

Bartender Song - Rehab

Creep - Radiohead

Don't Look Back in Anger - Oasis

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Taylor - Jack Johnson

Steal My Kisses or Burn one Down - Ben Harper

Waiting on the World to Change, Why Georgia Why or No Such Thing - John Mayer

I Will Buy You A New Life or Father of Mine - Everclear

What Would You Say - Dave Matthew's Band

Ants Marching - Dave Matthew's Band

Two Step - Dave Matthews Band

Trippin' Billies - Dave Matthews Band

Hook - Blues Traveler

Run Around - Blues Traveler

The Mountains Win Again - Blues Traveler

Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots

Jeremy - Pearl Jam

Evenflow - Pearl Jam

If you could only see - Tonic

Maybe - Candlebox

Cumbersome - 7 Mary Three

My Mama Said - Lenny Kravitz

Sabotage - Beastie Boys

Paul Revere - Beastie Boys

Girls - Beastie Boys

Motown Philly - Boyz 2 Men (gotta have harmonies)

End of the Road - Boyz 2 Men

Apartment update

I got good news today. My tenant has told me he will stay on for an additional 5 months, which means I don't have to deal with the very trying task of finding another tenant until June. He is really the perfect tenant. He is a 40-something gay man from Paris doing business development for a European company which wires me the rent money directly into my bank account every month. For my part I have attended to his issues as they come up, and he is very content to have me as a landlord. Speaking of which, apparently the refrigerator in the apartment has been getting noisier and noisier over the past several months, so I found a repair person off of Craigslist who came over and wanted $245 to replace the fan and do general maintenance. It didn't seem right and I sent him away. But I'm stuck trying to find a reasonably priced appliance repair person that won't rip me off.

Final Show and then Home

My last night of work (Sat) was good fun. I had a nice crowd and recognized most of the patrons. Someone tipped me early, and as I am not allowed to have a tip jar, I made a big fuss over it and folded it to a 90 degree angle and stood it up on it’s side right on top of the piano. Many of the people that had been coming to see me all week came up and gave me nice tips after seeing that. Near the end of the night there was this obnoxious queen with more money than sense who tried to buy me (successfully, I should add—I’m not proud) with a $100 bill to get me to play after I was scheduled to stop. I played another 15 minutes, and he then gave me yet another $100 to play a final song. One of my regulars showed me a nomination for a special commendation he submitted to the cruise line in my name. He wrote that I, single-handedly, had made his wife’s and his vacation.

Sunday I made the long journey home, via Detroit. Miles of walking through airports was the biggest drag, but surprisingly, both of my flights left and arrived on time. I finished Scott McClellan's book "What Happened" on the subway ride home from JFK. It's a decent book, worth reading if you want so insight into the Bush White House and how decisions were made. It felt really really good to walk into my front door and be home again. Now it is Monday and I owe my tenant a refrigerator repair, so I have to get on that.

The end of the cruise

I’m at the very end of my 2 week contract. Tomorrow I leave to NYC via Detriot. I’m a bit concerned because my flight will have to somehow bypass this huge (now category 4) hurricane near Cuba. And I’m hoping that the blizzards that have afflicted the north central US won’t delay my flight to Detroit. I’m gonna guess that tomorrow will not be a smooth travel day.

Overall, I really enjoyed my time on this cruise. I could see me getting very bored in a 4 month contract. Maybe next time I’ll be able to do a 4 or 6 week contract. That would be the perfect amount of time. Now that I’ve found the piano in the chapel I have almost everything I need on board: free food, great accommodations, room service, internet, a nice gym, and a practice room. The only things missing are my boy and my close friends.

I ran into the Cruise Director yesterday in the hall and he told me that he wrote good things about me in his weekly report to corporate headquarters, which was crucial if I am ever to come back to work for this Cruise Line or be considered for other work from the international agent that booked me.

Friday and Aruba

It’s seems as though I don’t get a day off this week, which really is a non-issue since I will be done my contract Sunday and can rest my voice after that. I will be spending the next week music directing the one-woman Judy Garland tribute cabaret show that I had worked on over the summer. We are doing another show, and I must say, she’s gotten better after going to cabaret camp and also after working with me on song interpretation. I have finally managed to get her to talk less and listen more, something that most of my own teachers always struggled with too! I straightened out my arrangements for getting off the ship on Sunday. I fly back to NYC via Detroit. God willing and the creeks don’t rise, I’ll be at JFK at 11pm.

I woke up in Aruba today and went into town with a friend from the crew. He was set upon getting Chinese food. We walked around asking directions for a Chinese restaurant, and every time we got directions they were pointing us back from wherever we had just been. I was getting grumpier and grumpier and finally after a solid hour of walking around in circles I abandoned my friend and almost immediately met up with some of the other performers on the ship and we all went and ate at a very touristy Mexican restaurant. There was a note in small print on the menu that stated that a 15% service charge would be added to all checks but that only a third of that amount (5%) goes directly to the server, so additional gratuities are encouraged. When the check came, there was indeed a 15% service charge added and at the bottom of the check were the words “gratuity not included.” That pissed me off. In America that would have been illegal and no decent waiter would ever work for an establishment like that. You are ripping off your customers by making them pay for the service twice, and you are ripping off your staff by not paying them the entire 15% service charge collected from the bill. I hate greedy restaurant owners.

Bonaire

I love Bonaire. It is billed as a diver’s paradise, and indeed most of the tourist trade is geared towards divers. I left the ship fully intending to dive, but the legistics were a problem. I couldn’t find a dive shop that could put me on a scheduled dive although I was told I could dive from their pier, as there was a beautiful reef right there, but I didn’t have a partner and didn’t want to dive alone. So I rented a moped instead and had a really wonderful day. There are paved roads that run the parimeter of this 112 sq mile Dutch (Netherlands) Antilles island right of the coast of Venezuela. The road is very narrow and there is very little traffic. It runs right by the sea, and the view is always beautiful. Sometimes the road is fully engulfed by vegatation and it appears like a tunnel. Other times you are surrounded on both sides with water. There are a lot of cacti and dessert vegetation and yet it is still plenty green. The air is dry and there were very few clouds in the sky. I passed through a flamingo sanctuary and saw a couple score of pink flamingos.

There are dive sites that surround the island and most are accessible directly from the shore. The dive sites are marked by painted-red rocks on the side of the road, and there is always a little space to park. Most tourists rent a car or truck for the week, and they drive themselves to the dozens of dive sites. They don’t need a dive boat and they are free to dive whenever the mood strikes. I really want to come back here for a week with another friend who is a certified diver and spend the week diving and riding mopeds around this georgous island. Anyone interested?

Wednesday

I found a piano to practice on! There is a little chapel on the boat that is almost never used, and it has this cute white upright Yamaha just sitting there. I sat down and practiced my newest song I’m trying to memorize: Cheeseburger in Paradise. Then I began to play through the part of my song list I haven’t been able to perform here. Things like Wonderwall, Santeria, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Hurts So Good, Summer of 69, etc. As I was practicing, two of the young Filipino porters who were cleaning nearby stopped in and started singing with me.

Since I’ve been on board I have managed to go to the gym every single day, which has seemed to compensate for all the food I eat on a daily basis. I’m also starting to eat better and better now that I’ve tasted everything over the past 11 days. I’m now eating a couple salads a day and whenever they serve fresh shrimp, I grab a whole bunch and store it in my fridge for snacking later. It’s all protein (and cholesterol). The cocktail sauce here is very bland so I’ve learned to mix in horseradish sauce to give it a kick. I’m noticing a difference in my body due to the consistency at the gym, although I know I won’t keep it up quite this much once I return to NY. Speaking of which, I got a letter under my door this morning giving me instructions for immigration since I was staying on the ship on turnover day. But I’m NOT staying on. I fly back on Sunday. So I have to go to the purser’s desk and straighten out those arrangements.

Last night was the staff Halloween party that had been postponed from last week due to the Norovirus red alert. I joined it at 12:30 after I finished work and it was in full swing. They had decorated the bar in cobwebs and scary stuff and there were a lot of people dancing. It was actually a very happening party. Much better than going to a club, since there was no attitude and there were people from different countries, backgrounds and status, all mingling together to have a good time. Throughout the night I had mixed gin, vodka and beer, but managed to get up this morning unscathed as I had never actually drank enough to get drunk.

Today I woke up at 11am as the ship was pulling into Bonaire. I ordered coffee from room service and showered. The ship has the best showers. Great water pressure and hot hot water.

Dominica, a confession and Granada

Dominica is a 108 square mile island in the Caribbean with a population of only 78,000 due to constant emigration as a result of all the hurricanes it seems to attract. I had signed up to escort the ship tour groups but wasn’t chosen, so today (Tues) after breakfast I left the ship and found a local tour guide who was forming a group just outside the ship (for about half the price that the ship offered a similar tour). Dominica is very mountainous with lots of windy roads, great vistas and a very verdant landscape. (Similar I think to Jamaica.) Much of the island is rain forest and the island is the number one eco-tourist destination in the island. The minivan took us on winding roads through the rain forests and into the center of the island where we got out and walked through a national park to end up at a glorious tropical waterfall. Our driver spoke 4 languages and has traveled all over the US and Europe. It was a cool day.

I returned and ate for the first time in the staff dinning room where one of the young gift shop clerks was in tears because she had gotten breathalized by security and found to be above their acceptable limit of 0.08% and had been fired. She was still drunk. Apparently she has already lost jobs with 2 other cruise lines because of drunkenness. She will be taken off the ship in Granada tomorrow morning.

Work was difficult tonight. I had a full room of very attentive people, but it was so hard to get them to DO anything. It was like pulling teeth. And when I would finish they would all clap very civilized golf claps and then the room would become extremely quiet, waiting for my next song. Not one person gave me anything to work with to get a back and forth going. At exactly 12 midnight I concluded my show, feeling drained. I returned to my cabin and in an instant remembered that we might have a new president. I turned on CNN and rejoiced in the news. Let’s all hope that our next president will help bring the United States back on track.

I need to be honest with you. I did not vote. I registered but forgot that I would need to do an absentee ballot until it was way too late. I feel pretty crumby for not voting, especially as I have strong opinions regarding national politics and am not shy about speaking them. I had to decide whether I would just lie and tell everyone I voted, or to fess up. So consider this to be my official confession. Although there was never a question that Obama wouldn’t handily take New York, so…my vote really wouldn’t have made a difference. (I can hear you all screaming now!) I actually made this confession at my show tonight and made all those that didn’t vote to admit to it also. It was a funny moment.

Today (Weds) I woke up in Granada…remember, that tiny little Caribbean island we invaded? I walked around George’s Town and met some locals. Everyone was very friendly, even once I walked out of the touristy section. I walked up a couple of pretty steep roads and got some good pictures of the harbor from a cemetery above the town.

Monday night, Tues morn

I have signed up to be an escort for some of the shore excursions. So far I have not been chosen. Today (Tues) we are in Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) which seems to be a very interesting island full of rain forests and mountains. I got up early, thinking to go out and find a bike tour, but after getting all coffee’d up and packed for the day, I walked out of the ship to find it’s pouring rain. Abort plan!

Last night was the first really electric night I have had in the piano lounge. I had a room full of 40- and 50-somethings who were ready to party. We brought the house down with some great sing-a-longs and I got to do some of my silly material, like Old MacDonald’s Deformed Farm. The patrons were buying me drinks all night and I even made some tips even though I’m not allowed a tip jar. Some of the Bears appeared and were requesting Broadway, so I pulled some of that material out of my hat. But it was a delicate balance because I think the other patrons were getting put off a bit when I devoted some of the show to making them happy with the Broadway. But all in all, it was a truly great night at the piano bar. After I finished I sat down and drank with a handful of English passengers and we got pretty rowdy after a couple of hours. I think we closed down the entire ship.

I spoke briefly with James, the Senior Assistant Cruise Director. He seemed to be fine and upbeat. Hopefully that’s all said and done with.

Uncomfortable

The Wanderer has made a friend of Senior Assistant Cruise Director, “James” who is third in line from my boss, the Cruise Director, and directly below my day-to-day liason, the Deputy Cruise Director. He is mentioned in a previous entry. It’s important to understand that while James is not my supervisor, he has the ability to give significant input to the Cruise Director regarding my evaluation since James is always out on the floor managing the activities and entertainment on constant basis. In the crew bar the last couple nights James has always asked me how things were going, was I happy, and did I need anything, etc., etc. After the third night of such questioning, I made a joke about everything being great except that I haven’t had sex in almost 2 weeks. Big mistake. From that point forward, both him and his Latin dancer boyfriend came on very strong. We all ended up in a room party in a cabin on deck 11 belonging to one of the other Assistant Cruise Directors and I sat on the bed with 3 other people, a wall to my right and back, and a girl I didn’t know to my left. Within 3 minutes James made the girl move over and trapped me against the wall. James was drunk and kept repeating my cabin number. “You’re in cabin 444, right? I’d really like to come by your cabin tonight. Both me and my bf.” After laughing it off as a joke a couple times, I finally said, “No, that’s not happening.” He told me he understood, but yet he continued. By this time he had made himself quite comfortable with his head resting right in my lap and reached his hand around to touch my leg. The one time his hand wandered accidentally (on purpose) up towards my crotch I physically removed it in a manner that any sober person would clearly understood to mean “stop!” While he did not reach for my crotch again, he stayed with his head in my lap and, after a couple moments had passed, continued telling me how cute I was, blah, blah, blah. Aside from the fact that I wasn’t even remotely attracted to him or his boyfriend, I thought it arrogant of him to presume that because I haven’t had sex in 2 weeks, that I would want to have sex with him! It was an extremely awkward situation because the obvious thought in my head is that I don’t want to wound his pride with a direct rejection and piss him off, causing negative input on my professional evaluation. After enough time had passed so as not be considered rude, I finally managed to extricate myself from James’ head, the bed, and the room party and return to my cabin…alone!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh shit!

We turned around in San Juan, Puerto Rico yesterday. The new passenger roster is very different from the last voyage. They are generally younger, with many 30 and 40’s; there are many native Puerto Ricans, many of which aren’t comfortable speaking English; there is a group of 300 Mormons on board; and finally, a group of 250 gay men. When I found out 2 days ago that there would be a large gay group coming on board, I was excited. I thought it would make for a fun cruise, with great dancing, partying and lots of eye candy. But I was, oh so wrong! It turns out that they are a very specific subset of the Gay culture: they are the Bears.

The idealized version of a Bear is a hunky, muscular, masculine man with a lot of chest hair. A man's man! In reality, Bears have evolved to be large, overweight gay men with lots of body hair in unseemly places, especially on their shoulders and back. Whereas many gay men are self-conscious of their weight and their back hair, Bears actual seem to celebrate the abundance of both, perhaps assigning these things as a signs of prosperity and masculinity, or maybe this celebration is merely an unconscious expression of overcompensation for not fitting in with all the beautiful gay boys, and a very human need to belong to a group. I don’t presume to know. Most Bears have large thick bushy goatee’s or mustaches and yet, inexplicably, they trim the hair on the top of their head so that it is almost all trimmed off. Many bears wear leather, although that’s a whole other topic, and on this ship, can generally be found at the buffet on the Lido Deck. Bears seem to be a middle-aged phenomenon, but there are younger guys who are attracted to Bears and they are labeled Cubs. Bear Cubs are simply a younger, smaller version of a Bear. Bears can be tops (active) or bottoms (passive) but Bear Cubs are almost always bottoms. Bears are generally friendly and very approachable, so I’m sure that although they are not going to be visually stimulating to this writer, they will be fun to have on board.

Friday night

Last night was an easy night. I only was scheduled for 90 minutes. When I arrived the room was empty but within 5 minutes there was not an empty seat in the house. That felt nice. I recognized most of the people from previous nights. Tonight will the last night of the cruise and I’m told I must wind it down by midnight or before so that everyone has time to get proper sleep before disembarking tomorrow. Tomorrow night is my night off.

After my short shift last night I watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show on the big screen located outside on the top deck with some of the gay boys I met on this trip. I never really liked that movie and indeed after about an hour I had to leave. I then went to the crew bar for the first time since I’ve been here, now that the red alert has been lifted. It was mellow, and I had a long chat with the Senior Activities director who is third in charge below the Cruise Director, and thus an immediate supervisor of sorts. His boyfriend is a Mexican national and one of the dancers in the production show—the only gay dancer on the ship, I might ad, as I’ve met the other three and they are all straight. Who knew? But anyway, he was said that everyone was very happy with my work and suggested that I let the Cruise Director know that I would be available for future work. Cool.

Finally, in my cabin, I read until I fell asleep. This morning I woke up in St. Thomas. I called on room service for the first time (another thing I couldn’t do during red alert) and got a pot of coffee delivered to my room. Sweet! I have been in my room now all morning drinking coffee and finishing my current book. It’s called Perfume by Patrick Suskind, and it’s a highly original story about a wunderkind perfumer who, as the story progresses, attempts to capture the scent of a virgin pubescent girl. In addition to a brilliant and original plot, the writer through words alone brings the world of scents and smells alive for the reader, rather like describing the concept of color to a blind man. Just as brilliantly, he exposes the twisted thinking and inner workings of the mind of the protagonist. I understand it’s a movie, but I can’t imagine the movie being able to accomplish what the book has done.