Facing Demons

Most of us have one or two people in our life that have caused us such angst either now or perhaps in the distant past that we get a physiological response at the mere thought of that person. There have only been two such people in my adult life and one of them was performing in the club I am currently playing at in Florida, immediately before I arrived. I haven’t had to deal directly with this person (let’s call him Brittle Ego Boy) for 4 years, since he got me fired from a steady gig I had in NY because of a 3:00a.m. verbal indiscretion at a NYE party. I had let it slip that Brittle Ego Boy had a drug and alcohol problem and he was known to literally fall off the piano bench after drinking vodka out of a Gatorade jug all night long on the job. In my defense it was all true, and pretty much common knowledge. But regardless, I knew I was wrong and humbly apologized in writing (replete with chocolates and a hallmark) to Brittle Ego Boy, but he would not have it and proceeded to pull the strings to eventually get me fired. I don’t know if it was the unfairness of the situation, the pettiness about it, or the humility in my apology that was so totally rebuffed, but it really deeply bothered me for a couple of years after.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. I found out that B.E.B. was working this Florida gig immediately before I was scheduled to come down. I found myself playing the same tapes again in my mind and my body physically reacting with a quickening of my pulse and raising of my blood pressure. And then I came down here. The first night I was here, B.E.B. was the topic of conversation among the staff. It seems that he got himself drunk and was obnoxious, self aggrandizing, and completely the worst accompanist the singers have ever had to work with. He bragged about his fancy New York apartment that he owns that is apparently worth $650,000 and will be worth $1.2 Million in 5 years. He repeatedly craved validation from the GM that he was just the best piano player they have ever had come down from NYC. As I listened to the really nice people that I have now been working with for the last 9 days completely trash his personality and his accompaniment skills I realized that Brittle Ego Boy was just a paper dragon all this time.